The Winkle Encounter
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: Leslie is polymerized tree sap. And Amy is an inorganic adhesive, acting for Sheldon. Whatever verbal abuse Leslie sends toward Sheldon, Amy can send it right back and make Leslie look like the one who should be made fun of. For Joni. Amy/Leslie/Sheldon


**So this is the first fic I've written based off a suggestion when the suggestion wasn't something I was either already writing or already thinking about. In fact, I never had an idea like this cross my mind. This is all Joni's doing! She said she wanted to see the Shamy dealing with Leslie Winkle. Here you go! Sorry it's so short.**

"Will your friends be joining us today?" Amy asked Sheldon, following her boy friend over to the table and seating herself across from him.

Sheldon shook his head. "No, they're all in Leonard's lab watching his experiment. It's nothing but a modification of what he did last year, but Bernadette 'talked it up' as you might say, and they flocked over there like sheep."

"You can't blame Bernadette," Amy said. "Physics is so far from her field she's bound to be intrigued by any little thing, even the balloon making one's hair stand on end.

Sheldon shuddered. "I always did abhor that trick."

"As did I," Amy agreed. "My hair frizzes easily."

"That doesn't interest me."

Amy nodded. "Apology extended."

"Accepted," Sheldon said, smiling at Amy. She gave him a polite smile back. "Oh no."

"What?" Amy said, turning her head to follow Sheldon's gaze.

"No!" he hissed – as well as Sheldon could hiss – and Amy looked back at him. "What?"

"Don't look; she'll see us!"

"Who?" Amy asked.

Sheldon looked confused. "It's not Zack."

"The question, Sheldon. Who will see us?"

"My worst enemy," Sheldon said, looking down at his tray and shoving peas into his mouth.

Amy slowly turned her head until she could see the cafeteria entrance in her peripheral vision. "Wil Wheaton?"

"Dear Lord, no," Sheldon said. "But…oh dear God here she comes. I'm going to die. Tell my mother that I love her."

"Sheldon, I'm sure you're overreacting," Amy said. "Who could possibly be so bad that…"

"Hey there, Sheldon," came a female voice that had a slight trace of cockiness in it.

Amy saw Sheldon's face twitch. "Hello," he said in a voice that suggested he was suppressing extreme emotion that Amy bet was not a pleasant one.

"Looks like Dr. Dumbass has finally found someone willing to have lunch with him," she said, nodding at Amy in what looked like fake approval.

"Excuse me?" Amy asked.

"Oh, how rude of me," said the woman, shaking her head. She extended a hand. "Dr. Leslie Winkle."

Amy extended her hand stiffly. "May I ask who exactly you are calling 'Dr. Dumbass'?"

"Uh…_him_," Leslie said in her best _well duh_ voice.

"I'm not sure I understand," Amy said.

"Oh," Leslie said, putting her thermos down on the table. "Clearly you haven't spent much time with him. Okay, so here's the thing: this guy?" She pointed at Sheldon. "He's crazy. Quirky, if you will. Dr. Dumbass is kinda my nickname for him."

"Do you have a PhD?" Amy asked.

"Yes," Leslie responded.

"Then how could you possibly jeopardize your credibility and integrity by assigning such a name to Dr. Cooper?"

"Excuse me?" Leslie asked.

"Oh!" Sheldon said. "Snap!" Leslie raised an eyebrow at him, and Sheldon, unable to make eye contact, dropped his eyes to the tray in front of him.

"I fail to see how the nickname is accurate," Amy said.

Leslie looked from Amy to Sheldon, back to Amy and back to Sheldon again. Her eyes followed the same frantic back and forth motion for a few more seconds, and then settled on Amy again, appearing confused. "What?"

"You refer to Sheldon as 'Dr. Dumbass'. Now I'm given to understand that a dumbass is someone who lacks intelligence. Now of course Sheldon is only a physicist, but as you appear to be too you wouldn't be insulting him based on the specificity of his field. Sheldon is the most intelligent physicist that I've ever met, and as for, as you say, his 'quirks' yes, he has a spot in which he must sit. I agree with you that that's a little odd. He has a routine that he likes to keep to. So do many people. He is motivated by his job. He enjoys untangling the mysteries that the universe has presented to us. While research such as mine may benefit the greater good more than his work, most of Sheldon's quirks are rooted in intelligence, such as his germophobia or the benefits of Routine. The fact that his quirks stem from intelligence renders the nickname of 'Dr. Dumbass' to not only be inaccurate, but it makes you sound as if you do not understand what exactly the word 'dumbass' means. That in turn lowers your perceived intelligence and implies that you believe that any alliterative phrase with a word that society has deemed to be of the Swearing Variety to be a creative and effective nickname, and as that is not the case your intelligence level drops all the more, lowering you closer to the level of actual and accurate Dumbassery."

Leslie's eyes widened ever so slightly, and her eyebrows shifted up the same fraction. Amy sensed that the woman's unblinking eyes were challenging her to some sort of staring contest, and, secretly delighted due to the fact that this was her first one, Amy ceased blinking, put on her blankest stare, and looked at Leslie in a way that she hoped suggested that she knew she was right and was just waiting for Leslie to fold.

And fold Leslie did. She glanced at Sheldon, looked back at Amy, and turned on her heel, walking away without saying a word.

"Amy Farrah Fowler," Sheldon said. "That was impressive."

Amy shrugged. "A fairly simple argument. 'Dumb' whether used to mean unintelligent or mute, is not a word that can be used to describe you."

Sheldon smiled. "I know. But thank you anyway."

Amy gave a nod. "No problem, Shelly."

They stopped and looked at each other. "That didn't work, did it?" Amy asked.

Sheldon shook his head. "No, not really."

"I move I never call you that again."

"Seconded."

"Done."

**Hope you liked it! As usual, I love some good reviews!**


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